Chrysalis: Life in the Making
Chrysalis: Life in the Making is the story of my first marriage. We were two very different people attracted to one another. Such a marriage has the possibilities of a great relationship if the two can learn from each other’s strengths and nurture each other to grow in the weak areas. But it takes a lot of work, patience and perseverance and holds, also the possibility of conflict if not given proper attention. The dichotomy is expressed as expressed in the chapter:
“Funny, those differences originally had drawn us to one another. I was a 14-year-old student when Norm came to do the milking at our farm while my parents went on a three-week trip. Although it was his sense of humour I most enjoyed, I admired his quiet strength and comforting presence. He was almost four years older, but he took note of me and admired my ability to put my thoughts into words, and the readiness with which I could express my viewpoints. When we started dating a few years later, I learned to love his introspective nature; he was drawn to my outgoing personality.
That changed in a hurry after we were married. Within our first year, I found it maddening when, after an hour of trying to maintain a conversation, I’d ask Norm what he was thinking or feeling and he’d give his answer: “Nothing.” He claimed he had no feelings. Now, really!
Where my ability to put my thoughts into words had fascinated and pleased him while we were dating, it soon started to annoy him once we were married. My attempts at conversation apparently taxed his patience and his peace of mind.”
The story shows how the marriage deteriorated to near disaster before a time of concentrated effort and a Marriage Encounter weekend changed the direction of our marriage and helped it emerge from the cocoon to a beautiful shared relationship which encouraged us to acceptance and affirmation of each other—a place where we could learn from each other and understand how God could use the differences to help us grow to all we could be.
Ruth Smith Meyer’s Bio
Ruth Smith Meyer as an inspirational speaker addresses a wide variety of topics dealing with daily living and growing. Of special interest to her are relationships and the positive facing of dying, death and the grief journey. As an inspirational speaker Ruth has resourced many diverse groups. She is the author of two adult novels, Not Easily Broken and Not Far from the Tree, and a children’s book, Tyson’s Sad Bad Day. Her published works include newspaper columns, poems and regular contributions to REJOICE! Daily Devotional Magazine. Her contributions to A Second Cup of Hot Apple Cider are about relationships and learning to appreciate differences. Retired as Creative Director for an adult day centre, since her second marriage she divides her time between Listowel and Ailsa Craig, Ontario.
Why Did I Write It?
Through sharing our experience as presenters at Marriage Encounter Norman and I saw how it helped other couples coping with the differences in their marriage relationship. After his death, when I could no longer present at M.E. Weekends I grieved the loss of this ministry. When I became aware of the birth of A Second Cup of Hot Apple Cider, I saw the possibilities of letting our story go on to help others who would read that volume of inspiration.