About the Book
My heart crumbled as this lovely young wife and mother told me of her struggling marriage and desire for a divorce. For as long as I had known her, she had dreamed of getting married and starting a family. When she met Mr. Right, the glow on her face outshone the sun, and when she found out she was expecting their first baby, it seemed like she had discovered her perfect place in life. So, what happened? It wasn’t so long ago that she was singing the praises of her Prince Charming, but now it seems that all she can do is utter complaints about her Elmer Fudd. What made the change, and is divorce the only solution?
Unfortunately, her story is all too familiar, and her pain rings true in the hearts of hundreds (if not thousands) of women across the globe. What is a wife to do when she no longer recognizes the man she married? Within this book, you’ll find the answer to that question along with Scriptural advice on making the most of your marriage.
When you tied the knot, you made a promise to love your husband for better or for worse. I want to help you keep that promise!
Some marriages crumble because of one devastating event such as the loss of a child, an affair, or a debilitating illness. The blow to the relationship is so traumatic and severe that the couple sees no recourse other than divorce. More often than not, however, marriages die a “death by a thousand cuts.” In ancient China, prisoners were often tied to a wooden frame and subjected to a slow, drawn-out form of torture and execution knows as lingchi, which means death by a thousand cuts. True to its name, the officials would administer one cut after another to the prisoner’s body. Some cuts were long and deep while others were mere pricks. None of them, however, were mortal wounds. The point was to make the prisoner suffer as long as possible while slowly allowing him to bleed to death. Gruesome, I know, but that’s exactly what’s taking place in most marriages today.
Praise the Lord, many of us have not faced that “one devastating blow” to our married lives. That’s not to say, though, that our marriages are not in danger. It’s all the “little cuts” that we have to be careful of. Cuts like financial distress, health issues, job frustrations, job loss, children who have gone astray, and on and on the list could go. You know what I’m talking about. It seems like life just throws one thing after another at you, and you feel like you’re drowning in a sea of confusion and despair. These trials can lead to turmoil and even bitterness between a husband and wife, and most of the time, it’s not that they’re angry with one another. It’s simply that they’re angry at life, and they take that anger out on each other. After all, we tend to confide in those we feel the closest to, so it’s only natural for us to express our feelings (whether good or bad) to our spouse. Unfortunately, the continual spewing of frustration can create a strain on the marriage, and that is the biggest issue I wish to address throughout this book.
For the purpose of this study, I am going to make some stereotypical statements. What that means is that there may be some things that apply to you and your husband and some things that don’t. That’s fine. For example, in many instances, the husband tends to be the procrastinator in the family. That may be true in your case, or you may be the one who puts off ’til tomorrow those things that could be done today. In that case, when you get to the portion where I talk about the procrastinating husband, you can either skip to the next part or read it and get what you can from it. It’s up to you. I just want you to understand that I’m not saying that every man is this way and every woman is that way. Got it?
Okay, now, let’s deal with the biggest question on your mind right now—the reason you’re reading this book: What happened to your Prince Charming? I have the answer. Are you ready? LIFE! Yep, that’s the answer: life happened to him. Think about it, life (with all of its twists and turns) changes us. In some ways, we grow stronger and more confident. In other ways, we become weaker and more dependent on others. We grow. We mature. We change, sometimes for the good and sometimes not. And here’s another point that we often fail to think about: life and time affect how close we feel to one another. For example, that seven-month stretch when my husband was out of work was the most precious time in our relationship that I’ve ever known. Despite the stress and strain of our circumstances, we spent countless hours together during that time and even took up a new hobby of hiking—a hobby that we love and continue today. That event changed us, both individually and as a couple. Life happens, and it will change your husband.
But guess what, ladies? You’ve changed too. Perhaps just as you’re wondering what happened to your Prince Charming, your dear husband is wondering what happened to his fair maiden. Take a few minutes to think back to the way you were when you first met the love of your life. How have you changed since that time? I’m not just talking about physically (Heaven knows, some of us don’t even want to go there), but in every respect of our lives. Are you more or less cheerful than you used to be? Do you spend more or less time with your hubby than you used to? Are there things you used to do to show your love that you no longer do? Seriously think about it for a few minutes and take note of the events or circumstances in your life—both good and bad—that have molded you into what you are now?
That being said, I need you to understand that this is not a book about bashing men and their lazy ways. We are not going to blame them for all our troubles and pretend that we have no blame when it comes to our marriage struggles. I think we all know that’s not true (and if you don’t, then this might not be the right book for you). Do our husbands have faults? Absolutely, we all do. But that’s not what I want to focus on. Instead, I want to delve into the issue of how we, as Godly wives, deal with those faults and the negative feelings that spring up out of nowhere when our husbands are getting on our nerves. I want to focus on us, ladies, and our issues. So, if you’re ready, dive on in. Yes, the water may be a little icy at first, but if you’re truly interested in saving your marriage from a death by a thousand cuts, the plunge into these deeper waters will be worth it.
About the Author
Dana is a full-time Christian author and speaker residing in Greenville, SC with her husband and dog, Mitchell. In fulfilling her call to evangelize the lost and edify the saints, Dana spends her days writing devotions, devotional books and books for children, as well as recording podcasts on various Biblical topics. She serves in many capacities at her local church, including the roles of church pianist and ladies’ Sunday School teacher. Dana has a passion for souls and longs to be used of God in whatever way He deems necessary. When not writing or serving at church, Dana can most likely be found reading or hiking a nearby trail.
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