The Bread of the Servant by Elizabeth G. Honaker

Write Now Literary is pleased to announce The Bread of The Servant, a Christian Drama Play by Elizabeth G. Honaker, May 22-26, 2017.     

Genre: Christian Drama Play

ISBN-10: 1508655707

ISBN-13: 978-1508655701

                                     Author the Author                                                          

Elizabeth Golibart Honaker hails from Sparta, Tennessee, where she teaches writing support and English at Motlow Community College. Her undergraduate degree is in Liberal Arts, and her first MA is in Theology. This has given her the breadth and scope to write over fifteen full-length passion plays in the last twenty years – seven of which are in print with others being prepared for publication – as well as dozens of shorter scripts, short stories, and poems on Christian topics. Her first historical fiction novel, Come Before Winter, was published in 2014. In that same year, she completed her second MA in English and Creative Writing (Fiction) at Southern New Hampshire University.
When she is not writing or tutoring, she spends her time devising new home projects for Allen, her husband of 45 years. She also enjoys communicating with her two wonderful grown children and buying (and making) trinkets for her four lively grandchildren. She is passionate about sharing Christ, missional activities, and her local church. She also loves gardening, sewing, piano playing, and Star Trek as time permits.
 About The Book

The Bread of the Servant: An Easter Play in Four Acts. This script was written to serve a small church drama group with a big heart for witnessing. There are speaking roles for 27 actors, and several non-speaking parts, but it can be performed with fewer actors if need be. Scenery does not have to be elaborate, but two defined performance areas are needed. Stage lighting is also an important element, but it can be fixed or portable. The play centers around the Apostle John in his old age, attempting to explain to Diana, a bitter, jaded slave woman, the life-changing impact Jesus can have on an open heart. John recalls for Diana the events of the Lord’s earthly ministry, explaining his own transformation from a headstrong young fisherman into a more spiritually mature man longing to serve his Beloved Master.
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The Ulterior Motive by Jack Coleston

About the Book

Tensions rise in the Middle-East as a well-funded terrorist group takes control of key cities in Iraq and Syria. It is led by the mysterious Caliph al-Maqasid, a man seemingly bent on establishing a global caliphate at any cost. However the Caliph has a secret that nobody knows, not even his most trusted advisors. It poses a serious threat to America’s national interests.

After the tragic death of his friend and colleague, Stanley Carmichael is thrown into the burdensome position of Deputy Director at the CIA. He must work through the demons of his past-and present-in order to overcome this new threat to America’s national security, before it’s too late.

Anna Carmichael is a no-nonsense, gun-toting, ex-CIA Special Activities Division member whose role as a counter-intelligence agent forces her to work alongside rookie FBI Special Agent Blayze Phillips, together they must hunt down IMJIW recruiters working in the United States and intercept them before they carry out the most daring plot ever attempted on US soil.

Book Excerpt

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Washington DC.

Simon Marshall’s knife grated against his plate as he cut the first bite of his lunch. It made a sharp uncomfortable noise similar to fingernails being scraped on a blackboard.

He chewed slowly, taking all the time in the world, because he never could rush eating good food. No matter how simple or complex a dish was, he always had time to enjoy every last bit of it.

The hollandaise sauce held a hint of a smoky flavor, which was intensified by the even smokier bacon. The perfectly runny egg placed on a bed of spinach atop an English muffin completed the dish’s savory, buttery, and creamy taste. The combination of flavors and unique textures swept him away to his happy place.

It was his favorite breakfast, but today he had chosen it for lunch. There hadn’t been enough time for breakfast this particular morning.

Across the street, hidden inside a black panel van, two of Ghassan’s men waited patiently. They had been watching Marshall observantly for three days, noting down every single detail, from what time he rose each morning to what he watched on television each evening. Every day he ate at the same café, either for breakfast or lunch. It gave them several options, none of which they liked very much, and all of which made it likely that someone would spot them. Whatever they did, it would have to be a smooth and quick operation—there was no doubt about it.

On the same side of the street as the café, another one of Ghassan’s men was dressed like a bum. He loitered in an alleyway in a convincing drunken stupor. From his spot, he could monitor the entrance of the café, but he couldn’t quite see inside. A fourth man was seated inside the café, pretending to read the paper and enjoying a very strong espresso. It was not quite the same as the Turkish coffee he was used to, but it was still good. He was the leader of the second team, a spindly, thin man with a hooked-beak nose and a sharp jaw.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Simon didn’t taken any notice of the thin Turkish man seated two tables across from him. He was too busy enjoying his food to be bothered by what other people were doing or who was around him. For Simon, life was full of listening to people and observing them, trying to help sort out their problems. But when he went out to his favorite café, it was one of the few times during the day he could just switch off and not care about his surroundings.

The recent events in the news though—IMJIW attacking Iraq, a US journalist being beheaded, and threats of more violence—weighed heavily on his mind. He finished his meal and paid at the counter in cash before stepping outside into the warm air.

It was too hot for the suit jacket he was wearing, so he draped it over his arm and walked down the sidewalk to his car. Still in the afterglow of a good meal, he failed to observe the Middle Eastern man or the bum who had begun to follow him at a distance.

When it happened, it was very fast.

A man bumped into his shoulder as he walked past, and he felt a sharp sting like the prick of a small needle.

“Ouch, watch where you’re going, why don’t you!”

The thin man kept walking and didn’t look back.

Simon began to feel sluggish and slow; he clutched at his shoulder where the sharp stinging pain remained. He found it hard to stand up straight and stumbled onward for two more steps before collapsing to his knees. His face went pale and he looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

Then he heard the screech of tires coming to a halt and two men coming towards him, “Sir, are you alright?”

“No, I’m not alright, I think something is wrong. Please call an ambulance!”

“We’ll get you to the hospital, it’s okay.”

“No, you don’t have to do that. Just please call an ambulance.”

“We really must get you to the hospital, sir, you don’t look very well at all.”

The two men grabbed him by the shoulders and carefully helped him into the back of their plain black panel van just before he lost consciousness.

The van roared off leaving concerned passersby curious about what they had just seen. Around the corner in a deserted alleyway, the bum and the Middle Eastern man hopped into the black panel van. Then the driver hit the gas once more. He wasn’t going to stop for anybody.


About the Author

Jack Coleston lives with his wife, Sophie, in Auckland, New Zealand. Coleston recently published his first novel, The Ulterior Motive, a promising Action-Adventure thriller with aspects of historical fiction. If you like realism and suspense then Jack Coleston’s writing will release the inner page-turner in you. Visit his website.

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Every Place by Philonda C. Johnson

Write Now Literary is pleased to announce Every Place by Philonda Johnson, Virtual Book Tour May 15-26, 2017.

Genre: Christian, Business

Book Release: March 31, 2017

Philonda Johnson is the dynamic combination of successful entrepreneur and engaging speaker with valuable insight to share. Her mission is to help others fight for their MasterPurpose by empowering them to realize their Divine value and need for faith-fueled courage.

She is the Founder and CEO of The Leadership Playground, a development company that focuses on kick-starting the growth of a leader by focusing on the power of play, creativity and wholehearted living. She often draws from her background in Psychology and a decade of experience as an urban educator to inspire her coaching and leadership work. Philonda’s employment expertise is derived from serving 9 years as the Founding Principal of a successful charter school in Washington, DC. Philonda has a deep heart for and is dedicated to advancing women of color leaders, spirit-led entrepreneurs, and school administrators.

Philonda hosts her own motivational online radio show and podcast, The Audacity to Shine with Coach Philonda, and Every Place on her newly launched Network, the Brave Entrepreneur Radio Network. She is excited for the release her first major book, Every Place: When our intimacy with God transforms how we experience fear and launch our MasterPurpose Business. Philonda’s book will be released March 31st, 2017.

She incorporates her professional expertise, personal trials and life triumphs into every presentation and conversation to have a transformational impact. She can connect with and inspire her audience. Philonda can weave her training goals into a beautiful story that makes key concepts sticky and actionable. Her energetic and audacious approach is refreshing, honest and leaves the audience ready to achieve their goals. Her mission is to help others fight for their MasterPurpose by empowering them to realize their Divine value and need for faith-fueled courage.

Every Place isn’t your typical book about entrepreneurship. It is Philonda’s beautiful and intimate testimony of how she overcame fear, developed a deeper relationship with God, uncovered her Master Purpose and transformed as a leader in her business. Every Place provides an exciting roadmap for Christian entrepreneurs who desire to design, build and launch their business God’s Way. Using the Biblical character Joshua’s legacy as a leader, readers will learn the essential tools and strategies required to experience breakthroughs and success in your Christ-centered business. Philonda pushes Christian entrepreneurs to be audacious and to S.L.A.Y. in their business: Seek God, Love God, Act for God and Yield Fruit for God. This book was written in honor of every brave entrepreneur that has struggled to find their Divine purpose and launch a business in alignment with their dreams. This book was written for you.


You made it—you finally made it! You are the guest of honor at the fabulous bash thrown to celebrate the audacious decision you’ve made to pursue a life of abundance, power and liberty. When it comes to getting what you want out of life, the single most important thing to know is that God has already blessed your path. Joshua 1:3 says, “Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given to you, just as I promised to Moses.” (NLT) Now, with the realization of this beautiful promise, all you must do is choose. Choose to construct a masterpiece life built on a deep understanding of the God you serve and your Divine purpose. I love to call this your MasterPurpose. Clarity about your MasterPurpose will impact how you will show up in the world and leave your mark as an Entrepreneur. 

When you decide to step out of your own way and into beautiful alignment with your MasterPurpose, all things are possible. This is a brave c hoice and not for the scared, timid or weak leader. It is a declaration to the world that you believe your life, purpose, message and talents are worth fighting for. To reach our fullest potential, we must train ourselves to have an audacious mindset, which frames how we perceive and respond to situations especially adversity. An audacious mindset is the defining factor between experiencing a life of abundance or scarcity. Remaining connected to your MasterPurpose requires a shift in your thinking and actions. It requires a deep and intimate relationship with God.

I yearn to be close and in the presence of God. The battle wounds and scars of life have taught me one important lesson. As I have matured as a believer, I have learned that I am nothing without an intimate relationship with my creator. For in his presence, all things are made new. More specifically, in his presence all believers have access to God’s peace, love, mercy and wisdom. Our close relationship with God activates our MasterPurpose, the Divine plan for our life. He shows us the desires of His heart for us and is the source of our own ambition. He inspires us to dream big and desire radical success in every area and level of our lives. Your MasterPurpose could be a ministry, an entrepreneurial venture, a book, a family or even a school. Your MasterPurpose births your entrepreneurial venture. It could be a book, a clothing company, a law practice or even a school. It is the idea you believe God has commissioned you to lead to benefit His people. We all have been called to be leaders of faith entrusted with an assignment to fulfill while here on Earth.


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A Violent Light by Jim Baton


About the Book

The Youth For Peace Fresh Start Initiative gathers ten Muslim and ten Christian youth from ten nations around the world to learn new paths to peace. But the camp staff have some highly unorthodox teaching techniques. And when one by one the youth start disappearing, some of them wonder if the staff might not have an entirely different agenda. Those left behind must work together to solve the mystery before they also disappear. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, the entire world is watching…

Jim’s third novel of the Peace Trilogy confronts American prejudice head-on. Pursuing world peace today will require a generation committed to a deeper level of trust and cooperation than ever before.

Book Excerpt


Chapter 1

Everything was pitch black.

Sari thought she’d opened her eyes, but maybe she hadn’t. She closed them—darkness; she opened them again—nothing changed.

Was she dreaming? The pounding pain in her head felt very real. She could feel the pillow under her neck. She was lying on a bed.

But where am I?

Her home in Indonesia was never this dark. Even when the electricity failed, which happened fairly often, eventually her eyes would adjust enough for her to stumble from her bedroom to the kitchen and light a candle. Or she used the flashlight in her cell phone to guide her.

Her cell phone! She always kept it on the floor next to her bed at night. She reached down over the edge of the bed and whacked her knuckles on—the floor?

Confused, she slowly ran her fingers along the edge of her bed, but the floor around her, which she’d expected to be much lower, was empty. She checked the other side of the bed and discovered it was the same. And her cell phone was nowhere to be found. Goosebumps rose up on her neck. Sari shuddered.

Sari’s brain was a dense fog, and it was hard to think. She rubbed her forehead, hands unseen, trying to focus on something, anything that made sense.

Where am I? Come on, remember!

Sari relaxed her head on the pillow again and closed her eyes, searching her memory.

The last time she had awakened was in her own bed in Banjarmasin. Her adopted father, Pak Abdullah, had touched her shoulder long before dawn. “Sari, let’s go,” she had heard him say.

Fuzzy recollections of hugging Pak Abdullah goodbye at the airport, taking Garuda Airlines to Jakarta, then meeting Ismail for the first time, another airplane ride to America, landing in Atlanta…

Atlanta! She remembered the huge airport, and her feeling of giddiness at her long-dreamed-of first trip overseas. She was gathering with young people from all over the world—ten Muslims and ten Christians attending a conference on peace. They climbed aboard a bus. A kind African young man with a rhyming name had helped her with her bag. Some of the faces and names floated through her consciousness. And a handsome American named Jack was directing them.

A wave of nausea washed over her and she had to change her focus to keep from retching. She rolled onto her side and pulled her knees toward her stomach. Her hip could feel the hard surface beneath what must be a thin mat. Was she sick? Was this a hospital? Was it a morgue? Everything was so deathly silent, except for the breathing.

Sari suddenly realized she was not alone. Panic stirred the nausea again and it was all she could do to hold back the bile in her throat. Who was out there? Her imagination called up fearful images from her past and she shuddered again.

When the nausea passed, she pushed the fog and the fear back as far as she could and told herself again: Remember!

About the Author

Jim Baton (pen name) has spent the last 20 years living in the Muslim world, where he’s been involved in a variety of peace and reconciliation activities including interfaith dialogue, training elementary through university students in peace principles, and bringing Christians and Muslims together to pray. His real name and photo can’t be displayed on this site to protect his identity from the extremist groups where he lives out his faith. Learn more at his website.

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Books to Read



Rosa No-Name by Roger Bruner

About the Book

Rosa No-Name leaves her tiny Mexican village a rejected, illiterate, pregnant sixteen-year-old and returns at twenty a mature, highly literate woman. Can she forgive the villagers for the way they mistreated her as an unwanted orphan and help them find a way to survive? And will she find the God she’s been seeking?

Rosa No-Name is the prequel to the Altered Hearts young adult book, Found in Translation. It’s a coming-of-age novel that requires no familiarity with Found in Translation despite a small overlapping of the stories being told from opposite points of view.

Book Excerpt

My precious Anjelita,

I can’t believe you are eighteen now and attending an American college. How quickly the years have passed.

Although I clearly remember every detail of your birth, other facts about our life together would have been lost forever without the journal Dr. Morales convinced me to keep. You know too well how my journal was almost destroyed and yet lovingly preserved at far too costly a price.

You are familiar with many aspects of my past, some from your own experiences. But you’ve also asked questions that were too personal—too sensitive—to answer when you were younger. I didn’t think you could handle that much truth yet.

You’re a grown woman now. A very mature one. I believe you are ready.

I couldn’t tell you these things in person. Regardless of what you might think, I don’t consider myself a very strong woman.

The solution came like an expensive, unexpected present. You have always loved to read. I would give you the details of my history—our history—in writing.

Yes, I could have simply loaned you my journal, but it contains too many gaps. Whenever I look through it, I recall details I failed to include. Important ones.

So I had Dr. Morales get in touch with Señor Roger Bruner for me. You remember Señor Roger, don’t you? He’s the older gentleman who wrote about Kim Hartlinger’s trip to Santa María in Found in Translation. If Nikki hadn’t translated it into Spanish, you and I might never have been able to read it. But he made a few mistakes I would politely point out when we went through my journal together.

If he agreed to help, that is.

Thank goodness he was delighted at the idea of using my journal as the basis—the skeleton, he called it—of a new book. He would add to it the things Nikki and I remembered, including corrections to his earlier mistakes. Nikki would be especially helpful in recalling things she had said to me in English before she learned to speak Spanish. As well as things I couldn’t have seen or known about.

He flew to San Diego and drove down to Santa María. The roads are much better now, he was pleased to discover, but it’s still a long drive. At least the village has gotten some vestiges of civilization. Like electricity and running water. Occasionally.

After many hugs, he and Nikki and I sat down together to begin. She had already translated my journal into English for Señor Roger, and he recorded our numerous conversations to keep from forgetting anything. Especially the additions Nikki and I made as we went along.

Although he calls this book a novel, one that is “character-driven,” he says it’s actually a memoir about my growing-up years from age sixteen to twenty-nine. That’s why he wrote it in my adult voice, using the language skills I have acquired over the years.

More important than any of that, however, Rosa No-Name will tell you everything there is to know about our family.

As you can see, Señor Roger published this book in English. (How strange not to be able to read my own words!) Since you speak and understand that strange language so well now, you shouldn’t have a problem reading it.

I wanted you to have this, the very first copy. I pray that it will not only answer your questions but entertain you as well.

Vaya con Diós, my dearest daughter.

Your eternally loving mother,


About the Author

Roger Bruner spent his whole work life trying to figure out what he wanted to do when he grew up. Along the way he taught school, interviewed job seekers, and programmed computers. He retired from a temporary stint at Target to write full-time and wishes he could have done that years earlier.

His first two novels, Found in Translation and Lost in Dreams, are currently out of print but under contract at a new publisher along with the two unpublished books in the Altered Hearts young adult series. His speculative satire, The Devil and Pastor Gus, came out in 2015. His most recent novel, Rosa No-Name is a coming-of-age story that just released on April 12. He’s also published two small books of his shorter writings, Yesterday’s Blossoms and More of Yesterday’s Blossoms.

A guitarist and songwriter, he’s in the church choir and plays bass in the praise team and guitar at a nursing home ministry. Long interested in missions, he’s gone to Romania, England, Wales, Australia, and Nicaragua on short-term mission trips.

Roger likes spending time with his wife, Kathleen. He has a daughter, who lives with her husband and son in Orlando, and stepdaughters in New York City and Las Vegas.

He enjoys reading, photography, web design, and playing Words with Friends.

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Activating Your Gifts by Shaniece M. Wise

Write Now Literary Book Tours is pleased to announce Activating Your Gifts, by Shaniece M. Wise Virtual Book Tour, May 1-12, 2017.

Genre: Business Owners, Aspiring Business Owners, Professionals, Inspiration, Growth, Development.

ISBN-10: 0997576006

ISBN-13: 978-0997576009


Speaker | Personal and Business Development Coach | Executive Trainer | Author

Shaniece M. Wise is a Speaker, Personal and Business Development Coach, Executive Trainer and Author who helps others identify, activate, and maximize their gifts. As a coach, she considers herself an “Activation Specialists,” who empowers people in discovering and activating their interest, developing a career around their interest, and turning that passion into income. She brings these strategies to life through fifteen years of success in direct selling, coaching, and mentoring. Her successful experiences have provided her with both the confidence and knowledge to teach audiences across the United States how to move from a place of survival, to a place of thriving by turning thoughts into actions.

Shaniece is also the founder of the Unstoppable Community TN. Unstoppable Community is a community for Entrepreneurs, Aspiring Entrepreneurs and Professionals that are looking to grow personally and professionally in order to serve others with their gifts.

Over the last fifteen years Shaniece has traveled around the United States teaching and coaching on self-motivation, growth and development, and how to live life with expectation. After years of experience, she transitioned from career to purpose, and that is when her Coaching Practice was brought to life.

“Activating Your Gifts Workbook”

What Is This Workbook Designed To Do?

This is the first workbook in the “Awakening Series: Activating Your Gift.” It is designed to aid you in identifying your gift that God has put inside of you. The goal of this workbook is to make you feel uncomfortable in operating in the same place. My prayer is that it causes you to want to shift from a place of being complacent, and challenge you to be exactly what you are supposed to be; no longer just existing, but thriving and living an abundant life. It is designed to make you look at yourself, identify what you enjoy, and allow you to dream again. It is designed to assist you with letting some things go that may be blocking you from your successful future and a life of abundance.

The Activation Process is about development and growth. It is about getting to know your gifts and strengths. Realizing that you already have exactly what you need to be successful, you must learn how to activate it. The ultimate goal is to operate in a career that you absolutely love, create an organization that changes the world, and become the person that you are destined to be.

When you break down the Activation Process, the first step is to identify what your gifts and strengths are. That is the focus of this workbook. You must identify what makes you happy and what brings you joy. The definition of “Identify” means to establish or indicate who or what (someone or something) is. This is the first step to beginning your journey.

Once you identify what your gift is, you use the tools provided to get into action and activate it. This is where you research, develop, figure out your target markets, build your customer base, and execute. This definition of “Activation” is to make (something) active or operative; to convert (a substance, molecule, etc.) into a reactive form.

The last piece of the Activation Process is where you maximize your gifts and strengths in a way that allows you to earn an income. This is where the sky is the limit for you. The definition of “Maximize” is to make as large or great as possible; to make the best use of.


Transformation . . .

I want to challenge you to take a look at yourself and identify what is keeping you from reaching your highest destination. What is hindering the gift that is inside of you from being ignited and birthed? I want to see you transform from the inner to the outer. The definition of “transform” is to make a thorough or dramatic change in form, appearance, or character. Let’s choose today to begin transforming your thoughts, views, and actions, so that you can begin to identify, activate, and maximize the gifts that have been lying dormant.

I have observed many entrepreneurs who start businesses and have great success . . . until life throws them a curveball. When entrepreneurs fail to deal with the personal issues that seem to be holding them down, it is possible that they will fall and never get up. These issues, situations, and relationships are like road blocks hindering them from truly activating the gifts that are stored inside of them. We must learn how to personally develop, declutter, and grow to change our situation and create a life of abundance. My goal is for you to activate your gift and become the 360 degree person that I know you can be. Your gift is waiting patiently to be ignited, birthed, and developed.




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A Life Transformed by Sana Edoja

About the Book

“I was troubled by a traumatic childhood, a victim of child abuse and bullying. I often felt depressed, humiliated and resentful. I turned to fortune tellers. I found myself caught up in negative thoughts. But it was only when I turned to God that I was able to experience feelings of hope. “Life Transformed” is a testimony to the work of God in restoring one person’s life. Be challenged in learning what God can do in the midst of despair.”

Book Excerpt

I believed in Heaven after death, but I doubted the existence of God.

When I was younger, I told my mum I wished I hadn’t been born. She just looked at me, shocked without saying a world

I was raised in a very strict home, and received little physical affection. As a teenager, I also experienced bullying from my peers. The other teenagers often used to joke about my appearance. They would tell me that I always looked sad and slow. They also mocked my appearance because I was mixed. One schoolmate told the teacher and the rest of my classmates that I should be in charge of the sunshine during our school trip, because I was a bit darker than everyone else in the class. They nicknamed me “Zora the Red.” I felt ashamed by the color of my skin.

These painful experiences hardened my heart. I refused to believe in the existence of God. I looked for divine help by consulting my horoscope and seeking out fortune-tellers. One of them had me drink a concoction made of colored powder and water. I paid money to make a sacrifice to his god; he promised this would bring happiness into my life.

According to him, these things were necessary to change my misery into happiness. My circumstances did not improve. One day, my parents freaked out when they found the coloured powder in my bedroom desk drawer; they thought I was on drugs. I lied to them and told them that it was just an herbal infusion. I threw it in the trash.

I can’t really remember if I mentioned to my parents that I was seeing fortune-tellers. I remember that one of my teachers wanted to have an appointment with my dad because she wasn’t pleased with my average scores. I went to see a fortune-teller about it, as I knew my teacher would not give a good school report to my dad. He assured me that if I drank the coloured powder in water, she would forget about wanting to see my dad.

The concoction didn’t work, my teacher reminded me to ask my dad about seeing her. Those efforts only brought further disappointment.

My teacher and the principal of the school wanted me to go to a college to learn manual jobs (sewing, cooking, etc.). I was strongly against it, I wanted to pursue my studies in general education. They couldn’t force me into going to a college that I didn’t want to go.

My continued search for happiness led to deeper depression. I could not admit that I was insecure or that my plan to improve my life was useless. I suffered from rejection by others and self-rejection. My parents and peers rejected my opinions. They wanted to mold me into their ideal person. They didn’t accept me because I was not doing or saying the things they desired to see in me. I began to hate myself and the world around me. I had suicidal thoughts because I was troubled inside.

My siblings and I were never good enough. My parents planted seeds of anger, resentment, and hatred in our hearts through their actions and words. They never hugged or complemented us. They just kissed us on the cheeks to greet us, if we were going away, or birthdays. My parents never comforted us when we were sad. We were raised in a very controlling and tense environment.

One time, I came back from playing at a friend’s house.  I didn’t tell my parents where I was.  When I came back home, they beat me. My hair got pulled when I didn’t come to eat dinner on time or I didn’t hold my head straight while my hair was being brushed.

I remembered being pushed on the floor for refusing to be vaccinated as I was scared of needles.  My parents locked me up in my bedroom until I agreed to be seen by a doctor. I felt so fearful and angry that I refused to come out of my bedroom for a few days. I was so insecure that I didn’t trust anyone. One day, I decided to run away, but it lasted only for a couple of hours.

My parents judged my siblings and I on our performance. They told us that we were lazy, violent, stupid, a complete failure… One day my mother realized that she was treating us like wild animals by using whips, so she cut the ropes of the whip. My dad was surprised, so he turned to using  his hands and fists to discipline us. As time went on and we became teenagers, my parents stopped the beatings.

Inside my head, it was agony, I just wanted to run away from it all. In all honesty, nobody is perfect, the television news portrays this so well. Most times, I wanted to be alone. I rejected people’s company and they rejected mine. I created an imaginary world where I confided in a loving father and a protective brother. I even made up conversations with them as I looked at myself in my wardrobe mirror. I even imagined a perfect husband. I created a fictional world. I read constantly to escape from the reality of my shaky world.

I had to believe in myself in order to get out of this messy home. My parents would not change and I had to accept this awful reality.

I just had one or two friends at school and college. I was too reserved and ashamed to confide in them. The more I kept those bad feelings to myself, the more I became bitter, unforgiveable, insecure, lonely, I rejected everyone and everything, resentful, angry, and nervous.

Most of us dream of a big house, a car, fame, a well-paid job, money, and someone to love. We strive to be successful in life. As I chased after some of these things, I realized they did not make me happy. Something was still missing in my life. I still felt a void inside my heart, I longed to be loved and accepted.

A few months later, I decided to complain to the juvenile court about the unbearable situation of my home life. I was so overwhelmed. I couldn’t find the juvenile court, so I asked a passerby for directions.

He told me that the court was closed for the day, and that I should come back on Monday. He was concerned about my welfare, and invited me for a drink in a nearby coffee shop. I unloaded my burdens on him. He listened and explained to me that going to court was a very bad decision; the judge would separate my siblings by putting us in different foster homes. It would be very difficult to see my siblings again. He told me to be patient and endure the hardships until I turned eighteen, then I would be able to leave my parents’ home.

He was also concerned that I would run away from home and become a prostitute. I reassured him that wouldn’t be the case. He told me to meet him again at the market place to sell roses and make money. The next Saturday, I went back to the market place but he wasn’t there.  Looking back, this man was probably meant to help me that particular stressful day.

One day when I was fifteen, I told my dad that I was contemplating suicide. I thought of drowning myself in the canal in the middle of the night. My dad’s way of comforting me was to tell me to stop thinking about it. I called the helpline to discuss my despair. They were not able to help me; they just listened. I cried a lot that day.

When I was nineteen, I starting seeing a psychologist to talk about my problems on a monthly basis. During the three sessions we had, the therapist didn’t help me at all. The therapist listened to me, but I had to find my own solutions. Going to singing classes and writing songs helped me with my despair.

I needed to find the purpose for my existence. I wanted to be useful, to make a difference, and to live my legacy. I often wondered why I still lived. Was it to endure suffering like violence, war, famine, diseases and so on, that TV news channels broadcasted every day?

This book is my testimony of how God found me in the middle of my sufferings, restored my life, and revealed to me its meaning. I discovered my purpose through God.

About the Author

My name is Sana Edoja. I enjoy writing poetry and non-fiction books. A great source of encouragement for the discouraged, the heart broken. If you are disappointed with your life you are in the right place.

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